Extremely Necessary Items You Never Knew You Needed
"SAUCE BOSS" Kitchen Apron
Let everyone know who controls the Worcestershire in this kitchen. Premium canvas apron for the discerning sauce enthusiast who takes their condiment game seriously.
- Genuine waxed canvas construction
- Leather straps (adjustable)
- Deep pockets for sauce storage
- "SAUCE BOSS" embroidered in gold
- Stain-resistant (sauce tested)
Worcester Lip Balm
Finally, Worcestershire sauce for your lips. Because regular lip balm wasn't confusing enough. Features actual sauce extract for that authentic umami pucker.
- "Smoky, Umami & Hydrating"
- SPF 0 (priorities)
- Contains real sauce essence
- Pocket-sized regret
- Kissing not recommended
"Eau de Worcester" Scented Candle
Fill your home with the sophisticated aroma of aged Worcestershire sauce. Perfect for romantic dinners or clearing unwanted guests. Hand-poured with genuine sauce aromatics.
- 40-hour burn time
- Notes of vinegar & aromatic spices
- Wooden wick for authenticity
- Doubles as pest deterrent
- Glass jar reusable for sauce storage
"I'M WITH THE SAUCE" T-Shirt
Let the world know about your questionable condiment choices. Premium vintage-washed tee that says "I make poor decisions and I'm proud of it."
- Soft vintage-washed cotton
- "May contain traces of Worcestershire"
- Pre-shrunk (unlike your social circle)
- Available in "Sauce Brown" only
- Machine wash with similar regrets
Worcester Stress Reliever
Squeeze away your worries with this realistic Worcestershire bottle stress toy. Perfect for office meltdowns or when you remember you subscribed to monthly sauce.
- Realistic bottle shape
- Satisfying squish factor
- "5 Star Stress Relief"
- Fits perfectly in desk drawer of shame
- Silent screaming companion
Worcestershire-Infused Toothpicks
For the sophisticated sauce enthusiast. Artisanal toothpicks infused with genuine Worcestershire essence. Comes with concentrated sauce drops for re-infusing.
- 100 premium wood toothpicks
- Pre-soaked in authentic sauce
- Includes concentrated essence dropper
- "Take the Flavor With You"
- Fancy tin storage case
- Conversation starter/ender
Eau de Worcester Cologne
A sophisticated fragrance that captures the essence of fermented complexity. Notes of savory, spices, and nostalgia in a handsome bottle that says "I make questionable choices."
- Top notes: Tamarind & Ambition
- Heart notes: Anchovies & Audacity
- Base notes: Molasses & Masculinity
- Attracts food enthusiasts within 50ft
- Repels everyone else
Sauce-Scented Car Air Freshener
Transform your vehicle into a mobile fermentation chamber. Shaped like Uncle Nigel's face for maximum discomfort.
- Lasts 3-4 weeks (or until banned by passengers)
- Doubles as conversation ender
- May attract British people
- Not legal in California
Worcestershire Body Pillow
6-foot tall plush Worcestershire bottle for the truly committed. Perfect for lonely nights or scaring houseguests.
- Anatomically correct bottle shape
- Whispers sauce facts when squeezed
- Machine washable (thank god)
- Includes adoption certificate